JR On WSDR--Joke Day For 01/31/2002

There's a new law in Arkansas. When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.

Did you hear the Alabama Governor's Mansion burned down? Nearly took out the whole trailer park. And the library was a total loss--both books. And he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.

My neighbor and his dog were sitting outside their trailer last night. I walked over and the dog growled at me. I said, "Is that dog safe?" The neighbor said, "He's alot safer than you are."

I was out at the book store yesterday looking for stuff to read about love and marriage. I had to buy two books.

I feel like going out with Julia Roberts again. I've felt like that before.

Remember that young sales guy we used to have? The guy with all the freckles? Turns out his parents were just trying to teach him how to eat with a fork.

Cathy's been asked to get married several times. By her parents.

My wife made me promise that at her funeral I would let her mother ride in the front car with me. I said, "OK, but it'll ruin my day." (Editor's note: I don't have a wife. I have a radio. I get alot less static from it.)

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Jewelry.

Finally, Billy Bob moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. But, when the farmer drove up, there was bad news.
"The donkey died," said the farmer.
"Well then," said Billy Bob, "just give me my money back."
"I can't do that," said the farmer. "I've already went and spent it."
"OK then," said Billy Bob. "Just unload the donkey."
"What are you gonna do with him?" the farmer asked.
"I'm going to raffle him off."
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey."
"Sure I can. Just watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Billy Bob and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off," said Billy Bob. "I sold 500 tickets at two-dollars apiece and made $898!"
"Didn't anyone complain?"asked the farmer.
"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two-dollars back."

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