JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--02/09/2006

Well, it looks like Seattle has been numerically eliminated

I wonder what cheerleaders do during the off-season. Get dressed, I suppose.

This place is such a mess I feel like I'm working in Keith Richards' liver.

This just in. Early today in Miami, three police officers disguised as drug dealers arrested three drug dealers disguised as police officers.

It's hard to change people. I got my parents The Club for Christmas to protect their car. My dad keeps it in the trunk so nobody will steal it.

I have never eaten a bagel, but they are cute dogs.

I almost signed once with the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band -- but I wasn't nitty enough.

Madonna has reached middle age. She says she's going to stop buying underwear that has to be polished.

How many Chihuahuas does it take to make a burrito?

Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Finally, once upon a time, the Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America".
The American says "Well your Excellency, anything I can do to help you I will do."
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians and Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future." [Wags from 2002]

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