JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--02/16/2006
I went to an AA meeting last night - they charged me a 2-drink minimum.
I'll always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!"
Knock Knock. Who's there? Polish burglar.
Why is there no Disneyland in China? No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.
I got myself a Muslim inflatable doll. It blows itself up.
What does it mean when a redneck's baby drools out of both sides of its mouth? The trailer is level.
What do you call a leper in a Jacuzzi? Soup.
What is the hardest job in China? Skywriter. (Han characters, see below)
Finally, once upon a time, he ordered one hamburger, one order of
french fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger
and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his
wife.
He then carefully counted out the french fries, dividing them into
two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
down between them.
As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them
kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking,
"That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the
two of them."
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we
are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the
napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had
yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are
waiting for?"
She answered, "The teeth." [Kathy, for the last one]
