JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--02/22/2007

Labor Day is the day when we honor hard-working people in America. We should do that every day. So let's take a moment to thank all those people by saying, "Gracias, amigos!"

Doctors say that it is a bad idea to give ice cream to a woman going through PMS. You know what is worse? Taking ice cream away from her!

Everyone knows the show "The View," right? NBC now plans on making a male version of the show. It's going to be called "Shut up and get me a beer!"

Staunch Democratic Senator Strom Thurmond once switched parties. He once switched from the hunters to the gatherers.

A study says that pot smokers have a greater chance of having a heart attack. They also have a greater chance of eating two quarts of ice cream in their underwear!

McDonald's is opening their own version of a Starbucks-type coffeehouse. What they're doing is combining McDonald's hot coffee with Starbucks-type prices - so you can get burnt twice now!

The State of Illinois has removed the Ku Klux Klan from its Adopt-A-Highway program. Apparently the K.K.K was picking up only white trash.

There's a rumor going around that I've dated Calista Flockhart. Hey, we all have skeletons in the closet!

Thanks to Don Mertes for this last one:
Finally, once upon a time, without a watch, a passenger in a cab wanted to know what time it was. So, he tapped the cab-driver on the shoulder. The cab-driver, startled, completely lost control of his cab and rammed straight into a tree.
The passenger apologized and said he did not mean to startle the driver. The driver said, "No, it is not your fault, it is mine. You see, this is my first day driving a cab. Prior to this, for twenty-five years, I drove a hearse."

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