JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--03/09/3006

I don't mess with the boss's secretary -- not since I found out she went to secretarial school on a football scholarship.

Michael Jackson gave back all the Beatles songs for free. He realized they're more than 11 years old.

Former stripper Anna Nicole Smith encountered a sympathetic audience at the Supreme Court on Tuesday. In fact, the three oldest justices each got down on one knee and proposed. The court recessed a half hour while they got back up.

I had a terrible childhood. I'm probably the only guy in history who was once bitten by the Tooth Fairy.

Men are like......High heels. They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Osama bin Laden says the U.S. won't take him alive. He is reportedly hiding out where no U.S. government agency has been able to get to. New Orleans

Did you hear about the woman who confused her Valium with her birth control pills? She has 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

Why does Michael Jackson love Halloween? Free delivery.

Finally, once upon a time, a murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."

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