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To IndexJR's Archives of Great American Humour--03/08/2007
Senator Obama held a fund raiser in Beverley Hill. Everybody treated him just like a rock star. They offered him a ride to rehab and took away his children.
John Tesh is going on a world tour starting August 3rd - unless all of his demands are met.
The Stones have a new single coming out. It's called "Hey You! Get Off Of My Lawn!"
In Pennsylvania a group of Amish people are refusing to put those orange triangle slow-moving-vehicle signs on the backs of their buggies. They say that the sign goes against their belief of not wearing or having anything that draws attraction to them - like driving a horse and buggy down a highway!
U.S. Congress is going to hold its first session in New York City in over 200 years. Bob Dole said, "Great. I can't wait to see how much the city has changed."
What happens to Hannibal after eating Carl Lewis? He gets the runs.
The Chinese rocket is a little different from ours. It doesn't go straight up. Instead it goes sort of sideways with a twirly motion and makes a whistle sound.
In northern Kentucky today there was a 5.0 earthquake. No one was killed, but several homes were damaged so badly they were deemed undrivable.
Finally, once upon a time, a couple was celebrating their 50th anniversary at the church's marriage marathon. The minister asked Brother Ralph to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he managed to live with the same woman all these years.
The husband replied to the audience, "Well, I treated her with respect, spent money on her, but mostly I took her traveling on special occasions."
The minister inquired trips to where?
"For our 25th anniversary, I took her to Beijing, China."
The minister then said, "What a terrific example you are to all husbands, Ralph. Please tell the audience what you're going to do for your wife on your 50th anniversary?"
Brother Ralph: "I'm going to go get her! [Dispatcher for the last]