JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--05/18/2006

President Bush is calling for deployment of National Guard troops in states along the Mexican border. There's an incentive plan. If the troops do a good job on the border, he'll promote them to Iraq.

Polygamist sect leader Warren Jeffs is wanted by the FBI. What's the harshest penalty you can give to a man with multiple wives? House arrest.

The hospital staff enjoyed meeting Keith Richards, but they exhausted seven years worth of tranquilizers just to keep him mildly sedated.

Willie Nelson is doing a charity concert in Florida. This one's called "Gatorade."

The bad news is that the Democrats want to raise taxes for working people. The good news is that thanks to Republicans, soon there won't be any working people.

I didn't realize just how long (Retiree) had been with the company until he was cleaning his desk and found a stage coach ticket.

Marlboro has a line of outdoor gear for smokers. They recommend you buy it a size larger so paramedics don't have to cut it off of you.

Scientists claim that dogs will eat anything that's put in front of them. Gee, just like Cubs fans.

Finally, once upon a time, while attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

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