JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--05/25/2006

Why don't Mexican's observe President Fox's birthday by getting out into the streets to celebrate? They'd lose their place in line to get toilet paper.

They just arrested my grandmother for bank robbery--caught her red handed. Instead of disguising herself with panty-hose, she was wearing one of those elastic support stockings.

Did you know Cathy is a tee-totaler? Last time I played with her, she totaled 23 tees.

I've been having those weird dreams again. What does it mean when an 85-year old bully kicks Metamucil in your face...?

The President of Iraq is promising "Maximum Force" against terrorists. I guess that means he's threatening to kill suicide bombers.

What do you call a WSDR Salesperson with a banana in each ear? Doesn't matter. They can't hear you.

A group of Tokyo investors has bought the Grand Canyon and moved it to Japan. So, don't bother going out there. All that's left is a big hole.

A British company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants. This is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Finally, once upon a time, a clergyman is walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."

Back To Index