JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--06/02/2005

How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.

Mary is in charge of Bingo at her church. She calls the numbers in Latin so the Protestants won't win.

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

How many blondes does it take to play tag? One.

What's the worst part about seeing five lawyers in Cadillac go over a cliff? A Cadillac seats six.

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.

How can you tell if a redneck is married? There are tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

What do you call a bunch of tractors sitting outside a McDonalds in Arkansas? Senior Prom.

How do you know you're at a Redneck wedding? Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church

Why do men's hearts beat quicker, they get weak in the knees, get dry throats and think irrationally when a woman wears leather clothing? Because she smells like a new truck.

Finally, once upon a time, when he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widowed father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening, he went to a singles bar, where he spotted the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look just like an ordinary man," he says, as he walks up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
The woman went home with Charles that evening. And, the next day she became his stepmother.

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