JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--06/08/2006

Egypt says they are going to excavate what appears to be a 2000 year old Roman city they found completely under water in the Mediterranean. The city was apparently called "Old Orleans."

Roger Clemens is coming out of retirement again, agreeing to a $22 million contract to pitch for the Houston Astros for the rest of 2006. This means Clemens will earn the average American annual wage every time he scratches himself.

Cate Blanchett will play Bob Dylan in an upcoming movie. Hollywood insiders thought it was daring casting for the film. Imagine picking someone who speaks English to play Bob Dylan.

There were seven in my family. We were like the Cubs pitching staff -- somebody was always in the shower.

"X-Men: The Last Stand" is tops at the box office. Fans of this genre of science fiction marvel at these mutated super heroes' powers. For example, they don't live at home with their parents.

Many years ago, Italy almost beat the U.S. to the moon.......
Fortunately though, they ran out of scaffolding.

It was our first date. I took her to dinner. She had crab legs. But the rest of her looked pretty good.

I ran in a marathon and made some new friends. I especially liked the girl who gave me CPR.

Finally, once upon a time, Maxine was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed..
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles an hour. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her..
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out..
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it, did you?!" [Danlers, for the last]

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