JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--06/21/2007

Prom brings back bad memories for me. I had to bring my cousin to the prom. I don't know who was more embarrassed - me or him...

Now that Google's stock is coming out, they asked President Bush if he had ever Googled, he said "Every morning with Listerine."

Here's my question - do the catholic churches in Vegas even bother with a bingo night?

The latest out of Washington - in a recent interview Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle says that American politics is becoming meaner and meaner. Senate Republicans replied that Daschle makes a good point for a guy that is ugly and probably gay.

Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates was fined $800,000 for violating an antitrust rule. I believe he paid the fine with the interest accrued on his wealth during the time it took me to tell this joke.

Billy Joel is planning to write a series of children's books. His first one is similar to "The Cat in the Hat," called "The Car in the Living Room."

President Bush spoke on how we will hand power over to the Iraqi people. We're going to fix their infrastructure, their economy and give them more jobs - and if it works there, we'll try it over here.

Bob Dylan turns 66 today. I think I speak for everyone when I say, "That's all? 66?"

Finally, once upon a time, an elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and peach trees. The pond was ideal for swimming,although he rarely did that anymore.

One evening he decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket with which to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or to make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator." [Dispatcher}

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