JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--10/05/2006

Yechh! Right now I have morning breath in three time zones.

(Jock) is taking a sick day. There's nothing wrong with him; we're all just got sick of him.

Hazleton, Pennsylvania has approved the nation's toughest anti-immigration law. It's easy to spot Hazleton. It's the town with no restaurants and three foot high lawns.

The average person watches about four and a half hours of TV a day. Of course, about three and a half hours of that is spent looking for something worth watching.

Ford's new CEO was given $20 million up front for taking over the company. His first task will be to find out where Ford is going to get $20 million.

Former Culture Club singer Boy George finished his community service sweeping streets in New York. He then returned to his regular job, sweeping streets in New York.

George Michael was arrested in London after police found him slumped over in his car for the second time this year. Michael was apparently listening to his latest CD at the time.

Boy, the summer has gone by fast. Faster than a boys cross country team running past the Neverland Ranch!

Finally, once upon a time, after a long night of making love this guy rolls over, was looking around when he noticed a framed picture of another man on the nightstand by the bed. Naturally, they guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly", she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all." she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the surgery." [Danlers]

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