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To IndexJR's Archives Of Great American Humour--10/19/2006
I read it in the Music City Enquirer. At the Country Music Awards, four out of five nominees had on new underwear.
Do you know George W. Bush's position on Roe vs. Wade? : Bush doesn't care how you got out of New Orleans.
Reasons I'm not married anymore--
#42: She said "I've made the chicken soup." I said, "Good. I was worried it was for us."
#43: She asked "Why are you home so early?" I said "The boss told me to go to hell."
Our owner has an infallible cure for sea-sickness. He leans over the side of the ship with a dollar bill in his teeth."
80,000 fewer high school students smoked cigarettes than used to smoke. Most of the students said that they quit smoking because they didn't want to be a bad influence on their kids.
Men have a hard time voting for a woman for political office. The last time most of us voted for a woman, she was wearing a wet t-shirt.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrr.
Finally, once upon a time, a carpet installer decides to take a
cigarette break after completing the installation in the first of
several rooms he has to do. Finding them missing from his pocket he
begins searching, only to notice a small lump in his recently
completed carpet-installation. Not wanting to rip up all that work
for a lousy pack of cigarettes he simply walks over and pounds the
lump flat. He decides to forgo the break continues on to the other
rooms to be carpeted.
At the end of the day he's completed his work and loading his tools
into his trucks when two events occur almost simultaneously: he spies
his pack of cigarettes on the dashboard of the truck, and the lady of
the house calls out "Have you seen my parakeet?"