JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--11/03/2005

What's the biggest crime committed by transvestites? Male fraud.

What's Kate Moss's favourite TV show? Who's line is it anyway?

There are twelve Minnesota Vikings in a bus.Who's driving? The police.

What do you call a woman lying in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.

What do J.Lo and doorknobs have in common? Everyone gets a turn.

What wears sunglasses and screams? Stevie wonder answering the iron.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg? A Limp biscuit.

How do you make a dog drink? Put it in a blender.

Finally, once upon a time, God and St. Peter were playing golf. St. Peter teed his ball up and hit it. It was a real nice shot about three hundred yards down the fairway. Then God teed his ball up. He took a big swing and hit it. At first it looked like a real nice shot. Then all of a sudden, it hooked and started for the woods. Just before it went into the woods, a bird flew out and grabbed the ball and flew over the water trap and let it go.
Just before it went into the water, a turtle surfaced. The ball landed on it's back as he swam to the shore. Just as the turtle got to the shore, a squirrel ran out of the woods and grabbed the ball. Then the squirrel ran up on the green and dropped the ball in the cup.
St. Peter turned to God and said, "Are we gonna play golf, or are you just gonna screw around!!"

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