JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--11/10/2005

Why do Honda Civics have heated rear windows? So your hands don't freeze while you're pushing them.

How do you double the value of a Honda Civic? Fill the tank with gas.

What do you call a Civic with dual tail-pipes? A wheel-barrow.

How do you make a Civic disappear? Spray it with rust remover.

What's the odometer say when it's passing 10,000 miles? "Game Over!"

I got a new hubcap for my Civic. I figure it's a pretty good trade.

Our old boss is still drinking a lot. I figure he's about two or three thousand swallows ahead of Capistrano.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and the Green Bay Packers. Good defense.

Finally, once upon a time, in an effort to add diversity to the workforce, five cannibals were hired by a large school district. During the welcome ceremony, the superintendent said, "Welcome, you're all part of our Team now. You can earn good money, and you can go to the cafeteria to get something to eat. So please, don't get into trouble and eat any of our employees."
The cannibals promised.
Four weeks later, the superintendent returned and said, "You're working very hard and I'm very satisfied with all of you. However, one of our janitors has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to him?"
The cannibals all shook their heads.
After the superintendent left, the head of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the janitor???"
One hand raised tentatively, to which the leader replied, "YOU FOOL! For four weeks, we've been eating Assistant Superintendents, Curriculum Directors, Team Leaders, Supervisors and Cooordinators and nobody noticed anything, and YOU had to go and eat the janitor!"

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