JR's Archives Of Great American Humour--11/17/2005

The Minnesota Vikings have a new honor system. "Yes, your honor...No, your honor..."

When I was in high school, I tried out for football. The coach said, "JR, do you think you can pass this football?" I said, "Coach, I don't think I can even swallow it."

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell? Another lawyer.

Why did God make snakes just before he made lawyers. For practice.

What do you call an escaped lunatic with a chain saw? Sir.

We happened by the Jehova's Witnesses Assembly Hall yesterday. I've always wondered where they made them.

Who's a pirate's favorite Motown artist/ Aaaaarretha Franklin.

Who's a pirates favorite R&B singer? RRRRR Kelly

What's Superman's hardest job? Remembering which phone booth he left his pants in.

When a guy says to a woman "Let's take your car," what does he mean? His car is full of empty beer cans, burger wrappers and is out of gas.

Finally, once upon a time, after watching an extremely attractive maternity-ward patient earnestly thumbing her way through a telephone directory for several minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help. "No, thanks," smiled the young mother, "I'm just looking for a name for my baby."
"But the hospital supplies a special booklet that lists hundreds of first names and their meanings," said the orderly.
"That won't help," said the woman, "my baby already has a first name."

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